What a shameful country some of us want to live in – it’s not something a country can be proud of, is it… the fact that last summer many of us were more welcoming of boats smuggling fresh salad and tomatoes across the channel than we were if they were carrying people from afar, fleeing war and persecution, hoping for a new life in the UK.
You might have caught Robert Jenrick on the news last year ….ordering that some Disney murals on the children’s wing of an asylum reception centre be painted over in white …doing his best he was to make sure Britain isn’t seen as a welcoming easy touch. Seems totally cold and heartless but actually makes perfect sense – put yourself in their shoes. I’m absolutely sure that before I took my life in my hands to cross the channel in a metal death raft designed for 25 but carrying 60 I’d try to find out if the décor in the host country was something a bit more exciting than Farrow and Ball Dusty Apple.
Another is Deputy Party Chair Lee Anderson – the straight-talking voice of the silent majority. When he’s not getting apoplectic at protesters throwing eggs at a statue of Margaret Thatcher … and no wonder …those eggs could have fed a family of four for a day – he spends most days getting splenetic about those trying to reach the UK on small boats, not seeming to care one jot about their fate. It’s less of a problem though, thankfully because of his sister, you know Pamela Lee Anderson on Baywatch. She spends her days patrolling the shores, trying to save people from drowning. ..so it’s a bit like that GSCE Physics experiment where you have two sound waves that cancel each other out, creating silence in the middle.
Did you see the plans to prevent people securing a better life in England – leaked a year or so back from the Home Office when Priti Patel was in charge there. Genuinely, No10 policy officials looked into using long-range sonic canon to deter people trying to cross the channel…producing a noise so powerful it could induce vomiting. Only slightly marginally better – a bit like saying Pol Pot was probably not quite as murderous as Stalin – was the plan of installing wave machines in the Channel …not like you get in a swimming pool on a Sunday, bringing whoops of family joy but howls of fear, a storm of such tempestuous proportions that no one would dare try to head off.
I thought I’d help out so here offer two more on the same theme. First, Border force sweeping the sea using loudhailers: “No running, no bombing, no seeking undocumented entry”. Signs placed on the beach at Calais “Channel closed for cleaning – someone’s just laid a floater in the shipping lane.” And if that’s too soft….we pay the French to erect a large helter-skelter at Boulogne, tempting the migrants up the steps, speeding them down on their way miles and miles, round and round to within a fleeting distance of the White Cliffs, before tantalisingly forcing them round one more turn, taking them away and back, depositing them unceremoniously back onto French sand. That is a hostile environment my friends, make no mistake. They won’t try that again James Cleverly…it’s the only language they understand.